


OF DEATH AND SNACKS

by LunaDeAcero7



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Black Comedy, Food, Funeral, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29049939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaDeAcero7/pseuds/LunaDeAcero7
Summary: When Levi goes to funerals just for eat, thats it.One shot/Black Comedy/Eren and Levi/Food/Funerals
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	OF DEATH AND SNACKS

"We're nothing" —said the woman at his side, and Levi nodded solemnly.

How many times had he heard that phrase? There were times when it fucked him up a little to hear the same thing and the same thing and the same thing. It was always the same, no matter who was in the drawer, the attendants never said bad things about a dead man, even if he had been the biggest son of a bitch.

Sometimes, very occasionally, he would get some juicy detail of the intimate life of the deceased, not that he cared, but that gave a certain interesting nuance to those dreary gatherings that he had become accustomed to attend.

He had a friend who worked in the morgue and he would always throw him some detail of where this or that person was going to be laid to rest. So he would go, choose one of the many black suits he had in his closet, gum his hair, put his little bottle of alcohol gel in his pocket and leave for the party.

He had a little notebook where he wrote down the funerals he attended, this was the forty second in a span of two years. He had never been removed from any of them, nor was there anyone who was taking attendance of the people who were going to "say goodbye". Funerals in general were ideal to fill that quota of morbidity and hunger.

Sneaking into weddings was a nuisance, first because there were guest lists, then because one had to bring a gift and to top it all off, all that racket, shouting and obscene partying of a bunch of people ready to party and drink till they drop. And other events such as baptisms, baby showers, birthdays, etc, were not to his liking, in a way he did not measure up to pretending to be happy all the time, what a mess. On the other hand, pretending seriousness and sadness was something natural, I could even say that he was born for it.

And besides, how beautiful were the funerals! Sober, fine, elegant, people whispering in the corners, evoking distant times, and the food was the best. No one spared any expense in decorating the tables. He especially adored the sweets, all those dainty little morsels of fine pastries, and free on top of that.

He had become accustomed to someone approaching him from time to time to talk about the dead man, to ask him where he knew him from, he had become an expert at answering without giving accurate clues about anything. In any case, he was doing good to the family, the bigger the crowd the better, the more mourners the more successful the celebration.

Of course, he didn't go to the Church, he wouldn't even set foot in a cemetery. Occasionally he had bought a bouquet of flowers if he was going to cross paths with acquaintances, because of the forty two funerals, two had been of people or relatives related to his work.

Levi wasn't afraid of death, the dead bodies couldn't hurt after all, the living were the problem. Even seeing them lying there, in that way that they seemed to be more asleep than anything else, gave him a certain peace. Not to worry, he was going to enjoy himself for them.

This time it was the funeral of a certain Dr. Jaeger, apparently according to Google (welcome was that service with which he could go prepared better than if he had met him when he was alive), he was a doctor specialized in pediatrics, very well liked in the Sina Hospital. Well, his mother had been a nurse when she was alive, so he already had the perfect excuse.

He looked at himself in the mirror, impeccable white shirt, black tie, and matching outfit, polished his loafers again and put them on. He combed his hair with the old fashioned hair gel and put on English cologne before leaving. The funerals of professional people were the best, the food was fantastic. Lucky he hadn't had lunch, so he could swallow more.

As usual he came in like the owner of the house, and was walking around the courtyard, thank goodness and the weather was nice. The dead man was in the living room of the house, but first things first. There were lots and lots of people, so the main thing was to secure a good place near the table.

His eyes sparkled with gluttony as he noticed the extensive and well stocked assortment of savory dishes. Breaded shrimp! This was the lottery. Neither slow nor lazy he went to take out a plate and began to help himself to the sandwiches. Many people were crying a little loudly, but well, it couldn't be helped, why shouldn't they mourn a little further away? How rude, really!

Still, there was no shriek to dull his swallowing. He took a white plate and began to serve himself with parsimony, it was not necessary to hurry to choose the delicacies displayed there. Once he had a good amount, he took a couple of paper napkins and went to settle under some flowering trees at the back of the garden, probably lapacho trees or something like that. There he was, at ease, devouring to his heart's content, when he was approached by a handsome young man, tall with beautiful green eyes, with that expression between sad and resigned that he knew so well.

He swept his gaze around, perhaps the gorgeous boy was coming to meet someone, but they were alone in that part of the house. He bit into a breaded mozzarella stick and as he chewed the boy looked at it. Up close it was even more amazing, what a good stomach and visual binge he was having!

“Hi" —said the boy and Levi again glanced to his sides quickly, just to make sure that indeed that greeting was directed at him.

He nodded because he was chewing and maybe if he spoke he would miss a chewed crumb.

“Lots of people, right?” —continued the boy and then Levi entered into a dilemma.

Was it worth giving up food to have a conversation with this adonis? He wasn't sure.

“Oh, yes" —he answered as if not to leave him talking to the other one alone.

“Did you know my father?”

Thank goodness he had already swallowed, otherwise he would surely get stuck. Of all the possible people, a close relative had just come to touch him. Where were the waiters offering him something to drink? As he stammered out a response, the young man continued talking, thank goodness.

“I suppose it must surprise you, I mean, to learn that he had a son my age. Few people actually know that we're related.”

“Oh, right.”

His mental "gossip, gossip, gossip" alarms went off and he stopped eating momentarily until he found out about the whole imbroglio.

“Well, that's because outwardly he's always been above reproach. To tell you the truth, I'd say I can count on the fingers of my hands the number of times we saw each other. Despite his mistakes, I always wanted to know more about him, do you mind if I ask about him a few questions?”

“Eeh...”

“I don't mind if you didn't know him very well, any anecdote will do, by the way, I'm Eren” —he said offering his hand by way of greeting.

Levi looked at his own hand, stained with the oil from the cheese stick he had bitten earlier, and hurried to wipe it with one of the napkins before shaking it. And now how to get out of the mess? One option was to lie and throw any blerf at the young man, after all, the dead man was dead, no one was going to come out and deny it and if the beautiful adonis had had so little relationship with his father, he would hardly find out that what he said was not true. But on the other hand... his sad beautiful eyes moved him a little bit.

“Levi.”

“And how did you know my father?”

“I don't really think I'm the best person to uh… I don't know, satisfy your curiosity, let's say. I didn't really know your father, I just come to eat at funerals.”

Eren looked at him for a few seconds in amazement and then he couldn't help but start laughing like crazy, in fact he had such a cute smile that it was contagious and Levi ended up laughing too. Some people around them looked at them puzzled, although no one made a big fuss, sometimes sorrows have curious ways of manifesting themselves.

“Are you a comedian?” —said Eren once he was able to recover from his fit of laughter.

“No, but I'm glad my words made you laugh a little.”

“Okay, so, how was the food? Did you like it?”

“Well, I couldn't taste much, but so far nine out of ten.”

“And what's missing to make it a ten?”

“Well, the seasoning, it's a little weak, but overall the presentation, the crispness, the variety, the whole service is very good, I'd say one of the best I've tasted.”

“I guess I should work more on the seasonings then —Levi raised an eyebrow—. I'm a chef and I own a catering company, in fact, I was in charge of service today.”

“Oh, you cooked all this?”

“With the help of my employees, but yes, in general I prepared almost everything, some things, like this egg roll with fine herbs, are of my authorship.”

“I haven't tasted it yet, but it looks appetizing.”

For the next half hour they forgot about the funeral, the pain and the hunger. The culinary talk turned out to be quite entertaining. Levi didn't regret pausing to listen to the gorgeous male specimen in front of his eyes and Eren didn't mind at all that the man at his side had more interest in his product than in his father.

They say life sometimes gives you surprises… do you know what? So does death.

.

By Luna de Acero

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for choosing this story!  
> I'm Luna de Acero, I'm Argentinian and my native language is Spanish. I don't have a beta reader, nor professional help, so I apologize if you found mistakes or inconsistencies in your reading, I'm doing my best.
> 
> If you liked it I ask you to be so kind as to leave a kudo or a comment.  
> Stellar kisses and see you next time!


End file.
